My life so far

Landlady has invited me over to her place again today for dinner. She’s making duck soup.

“I won some money yesterday after playing mah-jong with my relatives. Come over to my place this evening, I’m going to make duck soup. Please don’t bring anything over this time,” Landlady said while queuing up to pay for her groceries this morning.

I had just followed her to church early this morning.

Landlady continued, “My nephew, he’s such a smart boy, got his Masters, but his two sons are always failing in school. His wife left him and last year, she passed away. They got married when they were so young. I pity his sons. No female figure in the house. Last weekend, both sons and the father just watched TV the whole day.”

“So cute, last week, one of his sons fell asleep in the bus on the way home and got locked inside the bus. I called the bus company but no one answered, so I had to call the police…”

I then thought about M again. He’s the kind of person who’d walk into any minister’s office and argue over just about anything while trying to get other people to agree with what he’s got to say about anything. He’s also the kind of person who’d stand on stage and talk about human rights, women’s rights, all that shit. But isn’t he just the type of person who causes families and relationships to fall apart?

“What’s the point of getting married when you can’t even be responsible for that marriage?” he once said to me.

My question to M is, “What’s the point of you running after so many women when you don’t even intend to really take care of any one of them once you got bored of them? Was I too insignificant to remain with you so that’s why you now have to avoid me?”

In him, I first saw a man who’d be able to stand strong and protect those whom he cares about. In him, I saw a man who’s capable of many wonderful things. Now, I wish he’d been castrated ever since the day he was born. He never liked children anyway, so it’d really not matter if he no longer physically possessed what a woman does not have.  

Just had my first session of “professional counselling” with a particular “professional counsellor”. I wasn’t sure what I had wanted to get from that counsellor, but the advice and responses I got were pretty standard. A professional counsellor is a human being too. Such people have problems of their own to deal with too.

“He doesn’t deserve you. He’s one of those second-hand, third-hand types of people who’d prefer to hang out with wild people. He’s a man of the streets. Are you going to just accept him again should he ever decide to return to you?” AE scolded me through the phone.

  That’s my life so far, apart from getting harassed by insane boss No. 2 at 8.00 pm ++ almost every other day after office hours. I can’t wait for these next 2 weeks to pass me by.