Ungrateful Child

What I’ve lost to M can no longer be recovered. I’ve just got to live my life as best as I could for certain other people’s sake.

I love my new place. The boss is more civilized compared to those two “God is the boss, not me” crazy women I used to have to deal with.

A good boss is the type who knows how to look after his/her own people. In turn, those people reporting to this kind of a boss would definitely reciprocate in a similar manner (depending on how grateful you are to your boss).

I was about to have my dinner not too far from the office last Friday when my new boss suddenly texted me to inform me about something urgent that had to be settled. It definitely was urgent, so I walked back to the office late that night to complete those few urgent tasks in case the customers started complaining.

Now I just heard about how that Big Bully female Principal, whom I had the unfortunate chance to momentarily encounter, isn’t handling things too well at that crazy school I just left. We’ll see how long she can last over there. Such is the kind of person whom I will never be grateful to, especially since she also goes around telling people about God, Jesus and the Good News but has no whatsoever respect for her employees. Put her next to Freddy Krueger and you’d notice how much kinder Freddy is.

Talking about bosses, I have to mail a birthday card to one other lady boss whom I used to work with before my stupid relationship with M started. Can’t believe she wrote me a three-page testimonial when I asked her for one last time. Don’t really know how to thank her until now.  

I’m also grateful to have such a wonderful, caring mother who never allows me to touch anything in the kitchen (in case I hurt myself while cracking eggs or scooping rice).

I wonder how many years it’s been since M last saw his mother to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. I’m sure his mother would gladly accept him with open arms should he ever decide to go home to his parents despite his selfish stupidity and bloody imperfections. He probably thinks his mother is just another crazy old woman who’s not intellectual enough to talk at his level. Same as how he considers certain other old women in his previous neighbourhood as not up to his intellectual standards because what all these women talk about every day revolves around mundane topics such as buying vegetables, what to cook for lunch/dinner, why that other neighbour is so annoying, why they’ve not been feeling well lately, yesterday’s Chinese drama………

Of course these old women only talk about what they usually talk about. They’re not as fortunate as you are to have been sent to such a good university to study all the way until PhD level. What did you expect these old ladies to talk about? A Juxtaposition of Neanderthalian and Homo Gautengensis Classificatory Attributes? Human Sacrifice Practices in Early South East Asian Kingdoms? Homo Sapiens: Its Ontogeny and Evolution of Religiosity? Eat shit lah, you hopeless Malaysian-Chinese-who-ran-away-fast-fast-from-his-family-and-thinks-he-is-so-bloody-special.    

You once condemned certain Chinese this way: “’I know so and so’, and that is how you do business. Are you crazy?”

You’re not that different from many other Chinese either, you crazy dope. You also love using people for your own selfish benefit, love telling stories about how you met so and so, la di da and the list goes on. That’s the only form of love that you know. Probably that’s what makes you stand out from the other 6 billion people on this planet, you bloody user.   

Yap Ah Loy had many Yap Ah Moi’s. In fact he had a battalion of 300 Yap Ah Moi’s to feed the lustful Chinese in 1885. Unfortunately, this Neanderthal mentality has not been updated yet.

Very true indeed, you Neanderthal. I wonder who was that Eileen woman who had followed you to Bangkok in July 2009. Wonder why I just had to find out about this the hard way.

Wonder why you had adamantly refused to add me as your Facebook friend too. What was your actual excuse when you had been able to add those other people whom you could take advantage of and lie to all the time while they continue to admire you. Not only are you a Neanderthal; you’re also a complete dickhead. A perfect dickhead who thinks he’s some kind of macho rebel going around breaking rules and annoying the shit out of any high-ranking minister whom you feel like annoying.    

I hope you have not forgotten to wish your mother a Happy Mother’s Day this year, M. I wonder how many Christmas and Chinese New Year family reunions you have missed out on so far. But they’re not important to you, aren’t they? You call them “petty” matters and you’ve included me into your list of “petty” things as well.

Can’t understand why I had made myself go out to get you porridge almost every day when you were not feeling well at one time, even when it had rained heavily. I know I can take care of myself when I’m sick but it’s sad to realize that no one will be around for me when I’m not feeling well.   

What an ungrateful child you are, M. How pathetic. Carry a paper bag, cut two holes for the eyes. And cover your head in shame.